Blacksboro’s Weblog

This is a topic that may cut deep. This is actually a thread of something i wrote last week on a myspace blog. Its about why guys dont give up after countless efforts of trying to get a girl…and them saying no. (Forgive me if this is a little too cunning, but it was 11pm when i wrote this, and i was revved up like crazy about the topic)

too many times, i see guys pursue a relationship. ive done it myself…even after a girl’s said no. but honestly, all ive gotten was a gigantic waste of time, tacked along with a massive migrane. first off, please, correct me if i’m wrong, but how many of u guys (and im talking about girls too) have pursued the member from the opposite sex and didnt stop at no? im saying have your heart stepped on, thrown in a blender and reduced to a nice chunky protein shake? ive known a few people that kept on pursuing it and the other person gave in and the guy or girl got what they wanted. sad. here are a few situations to show what i mean.

okay, the first situation is about a friend of mine who likes this one girl. ive known him for a couple years. great guy, okay? so he’s doing anything and everything for this girl, and she still doesnt even bat an eyelash for him. he is waiting for some special time and date, to talk to her. she already knows. and people told this individual that if she said no, that to not give up. i feel bad for this sap, he is taking her and her friends out to movies, to dinner, trying to regulate some kind of output-input for her. he is still locked in fear that she will say no. my answer to this is, buddy, if she says no, then forget bout her. u’ve done enough crap to try to satisfy her uptight needs. why pursue it if she aint gonna go. myself personally if she is using you, then move on and find someone better.

next topic is that there is this kid, who liked(s) this other girl. thje kid is an okay person. he’s kinda shy, quiet and doesnt have the best sense of dress. so he goes for this girl, who is insecure about herself. her first reaction is no. then, she melts to him. he wont ask her out, yet, she wouldnt know what to do if he did. my thing is for the girl. seriously, why do u hafta be insecure with soemthing like that. seriously. first and foremost, that before u can get urself into a relationship, u better be able to love yourself no matter what. for real. and im not talking about trying to do crazy things because u just dont care. people will glance, and eyes will shoot your way. but it breaks down to insecurity. love yourself. and if i could tell her that without her hating me and thinking it was a total joke, i would. because i care. sad to say, she’d just take my words and throw them out, and hang with the kid tomorrow.

my story now. i met this girl once who was nice. cute. fragile. she wasnt my type, since i have a preference. yes john, i know not every girl is going to be perfect. thank you. no, but really, this girl was growing on me. and she’d flirt with me on and off. we’d hang out, and she’d ask me to places with her. i thought she really liked me. only about a month away to ask her (and we couldnt date at the time) she tells someone that she knows i like her and that she dont feel the same way. well, guess what, i stopped trying after that. welcome to my life. apparently in unapproachable (blatant sarcasm). well, i confronted the girl aboiut it, nothing bad and told her why i liked her. she was cool. okay, thought no more play. so then she goes and still texts me, and talks to me and randomly checks up on me. what the frig. seriously. u said u didnt want anyhting to do with me. then u all may be asking “maybe she did (does) like you…” for real tho. get with the program. tell me if u do, darn it. really. what are we in 2nd grade? games are for kids. and if ur not gonna be real to me, then chances are u aint dating material, girly.

now, this particular thing has happened to me. ive seen a girl in the past that catches my eye. i pursue her, only to have her say no…or idk. let me tell you guys. if she says I DONT KNOW, 9 outa 10 it means NO. if they say NO, then say thanks and move on. and please, im not talking about hooking up with some girl that would say yes when u just met them. no. i mean actually getting to know a girl (or guy) first, then talking to them and making the move. because if the girls says YES 5 minutes after u just met them, either they have an eye for you, or they are a complete insecure girl who will jump at anything they can get…or they are a raging sex addict. and all u guys wanna cheer on about the second guess of the raging addict, yeah ull be bragging until u find out she slept with 4 other boys right after u, kid.

it all comes to one thing. give it time. both sides. its all about timing. if you two get to know each other and something clicks after 10 minutes (and that is blatant sarcasm) then have at it. if not, and they say “i just want to be friends” please, move the heck on and save yourself a headache.

You know, its quite funny because lately, everybody’s been on a crush list. Yeah, i said it. Ive noticed that theres people crushing on so and so, and this one likes that one. And really, what is the big deal? We spend hourless efforts on trying to impress the opposite sex, when really, half the time…no 85% of the time, it leaves an unfulfilled void wide open in your chest. Then we have the audacity to blame God because we were the idiots that made the choice not to listen to God in the first place. People are not following their discernment and following what God is telling them about that person that they like. Yeah, i have been in that situation. God spoke to me saying “Get out now, John.” I was too stubborn, and wrapped up in my own lustful desires to listen, and yes, this was as a Christian. Love and relationships is a dual-sided axe. Either it could go extremely great and BOOM! that person you are with you will marry, or you will be left with that God-sized hole.

I know many times i talk and blab about things, and people squint at me, like as if they are trying to say “what’s the point, John?” well the point is, well, really…discern. Signs are great, but pray and *fast* about it. I had great revelation of the girl i was once with, but God took her away. All said and done, no probs left. See, after 6 months of blissful pleasure, i had fasted for 3 days, and God showed me what was up. And the results were accurate…and i was sad. Sad, because i wasted 6 months that i could have gotten with God. But hey, better to waste six months than a life-long marriage from hell. So before we take 6 months out of our lives, and dedicate it to a train wreck, i think that before we get into a relationship, definitely fast about it. Dig deep, where it hurts. For real, you can’t go wrong.

So i was at a bizzare, or a “feast” as they like to call it. Its an Italian festival that my best friend’s family holds every year to celebrate the life of Santa Rosalia. I go annually for the food, and to see the faces that i havent seen in so long. I go with Mike and his girl Tiff, and our long time friend who’s visiting from Virginia. Over a short time, and seeing nobody we knew, we decided to leave and come back. But just as we were departing, Mike’s cousin Joe said he was on his way there. So we waited another ten minutes, and lo and behold, we spotted Joe, his sister and his father. now, his father is a very spirit filled man, and for the religiosity he has in his family, Uncle Louie opposes the religiousness. See, when it comes to the Lord, he is all about Relationship. We get talking, and one key point he hit was to “love God with your whole heart, mind and soul…” and he also said that while he was with his (ex) wife, he did not look, and/or lust after other women. She was his and his only. Without anything else said, God hit me with a revelation. If we love Him, why do we lust after other desires? When i had a certain someone back a few years ago, and was truly in love, i couldnt look or even think of another girl. i couldnt because the love i had for her overpowered that dingy fix of eyecandy. So forth, with the Holy Spirit, why on earth do we lust after those desires? T. Gilbert, aka Tom the Dragon often quotes, “when you first meet that girl (or guy) that you like, all you want to do is talk talk talk to get to know them. We’ll be on the phone for hours…well, the Lord wants us to do that; to get to know and love and desire him.” Well now i know, and more than know, but actually feel burdened to make an effort to love Him, as my first love. And as i did this, yesterday, all the worries about small conflicting problems seemed to go away. So what does God have that a girl doesn’t? What does God have that money can never achieve? What does God have that fame can’t amount up to? Well simple…he, he is everything and more.

I want to start off and say i have had the worst day of work that i have ever suffered. We were belligerently shorthanded. I’ve only been on the job for a week. Less. Five days technically. I clean, no problem because that’s what I do best. However, I had the task of pricing up the different items of food and putting them out in the cases that surround our court. I have to find a four digit number for each tray of meat, since they are all different cuts. I am struggling to find the code in this behemoth booklet of numbers. Forgot to mention I’m dyslexic when it comes to trying to read. The assistant manager helps me, no problem. See, the whole learning thing, pricing up different items, while trying to look up numbers that are smaller than the text you are reading wasnt the problem at all. The problem is, when 7:30 arrives, meaning i have only an hour and a half to clean…yeah. I know why they give me 5 hours to clean (4 hours is actually the whole chunk of the process) because I have to take the machines apart and scrub and wrinse and sanatize them. On top of that, i have to pack up the rest of the leftover stuff and put it out in the store, so people can buy them. See, the point of this particular blog is patience. Eight o’clock rolls by and three more customers come by looking for items that aren’t in the case. There’s no butcher. I’m the cleaner…and they want the stuff cut. So i help them, no problem. Patience, yes, is a beautiful virtue. Understand that in the past, I’ve had lesser situations than this, and I’ve walked out because i became so frustrated. Of course, thanks to the loving former bosses that gave me grace, I still maintained to keep my job. But the difference between me walking out on a job at 16, and walking out at 22 is maturity. I’m not talking about growth maturity, or “aww my baby is growing up and he is realizing that he can’t be a little 16 year old anymore…” No. I’m talking about a kind of maturity only God can grant me…and you alike. See, I’ve known people who are my age, and sadly they still act like they are in middle school. They, sadly are Godless, hopeless and dead inside. I once had about enough patience of what a 5 year old has. Same thing with the temper. I didnt have a fuse, “just a detonation button,” as T. Gilbert likes to say. So, i stayed after 45 mins and did almost everything i had to do. Fun times. No…really..