So, i get up for interns today, bright and cheery; have plenty of time to shower and read a little before i depart. I decide to get a drink at the store. Had enough time to get to the store and to school. No problem. However, every light seemed to be red. Green, then the next light again, red. Then i figure out that it is the first day of school. Oh, no wonder why it was so busy. Okay, no problem. However, then i realize its already 9:13, and I’m like 3 1/2 miles away from school. nice job john. what the heck happened?
i get to interns, no problem. Yeah, they joke bout me being ten minutes late. After a brief prayer and a prose of my malicious sarcasm about “ripping off tires and throwing them at people” i then get slack about the chairs. My fault, and yes i take complete responsibility. We gotta move, yatta yatta yatta, and in this, a girl calls me, one whom i am toggling the idea whether she is going to yell at me or praise me for my hard work. i’m thinking its going to be hell. After moving, Andrew and i have the haughty task of getting the binders together. Again, no big deal. However, the printer jams; not once, but several times. Great, its already past three thirty, i have to meet with this person at 5, and run around town. It got to a point, where i went into the kitchen, took a couple pusties (that Pastor offered) and booked the heck outa there.
Thing was, that in all the time, the frustration was on myself. See, a machine will jam, lights will turn red, and i will take full responsability over all the tasks that i didnt meet. However, i beat myself, as if i am not a Christ follower, but a person who practices Opus Dae (beating myself mentally, not physically) I am my worst enemy. We all are. in the entire state of the machine jamming, i wasnt frustrated at a mere flaw in the computer, but i was frustrated at myself. i tend to feel incompitent, because i look at these kids, 2, 3 years younger than myself, and i am like wow, for real, i gotta pick up the pace. We are indeed our own worst critics; something that i must work on over time.
